29 Aug Monday Mindset Mastery: Realizing the Power in Our Words
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Last week while on my flight for vacation I overheard a fellow passenger talking to her travel partner about a stressful situation in her workplace. While describing the conflict she used the words “I can’t” for a total of 25 times.
Each time her travel partner made a suggestion it was met with the words “I can’t” until finally her travel partner fell completely silent. My guess is that she’d given up on trying to help her friend. After all, what is the point in arguing against someone else’s beliefs?
Words have enormous power…
the power to inspire or crush
the power to encourage or embarrass
the power to lift up or ruin someone’s day
Words also shape our beliefs, regardless of whether they’re based upon fact or illogical fear.
Studies also show the inverse is also true – our external actions can also change how we feel. Certain poses (like standing tall) raise confidence and smiling has been shown to increase our sense of optimism. But more so than standing like Wonder Woman or smiling, the words you choose have a direct effect on your state of mind and those around you.
This week, I’m challenging you to simply be aware of your own patterns and choice of words.
Here are 4 phrases you can start to notice and begin to phase out to improve your mindest each day:
1. I always…
Maybe you did it one time, or you did it in the past, but it’s rare that any of us always do something. Avoid writing the future before it happens with this definite statement. We aren’t always the same person we were yesterday, last week, or last year. If you say “I always smoke”… well, no you didn’t. And you don’t have to be a smoker in the future. You’re never “always” anything. Instead, you can say, “in the past, I’ve…”.
2. Oh, it’s nothing.
Imagine spending hours and hours baking the perfect cake for your friend’s birthday only to hear her say, “oh, that’s nothing.” How would you feel? Now imagine how your soul feels every time you say those words about yourself. Too often we use this phrase after receiving a compliment and when we say “it’s nothing,” we might as well be saying “I’m nothing.”
Start accepting what you are good at! I promise, you are good at many things and there is no reason to reject your own positive attributes. Accept the credit for your gifts, talents and unique contributions that are noticed by others. Instead, you can say, “Thank you” or “I appreciate that.”
3. He/She/They have ____ and I don’t. That’s not fair.
Let’s face it: life is full of advantages and disadvantages. It’s probable you weren’t born a billionaire or a Grammy award winning singer with friends in high places. That’s just the way it is and no amount of wishing can change that. The best way to combat what feels unfair in your life is to find out where life is actually working quite fairly in your favor.
Not creative? Logic your way to the top.
Introverted? Cool! Find your cozy spot and do what you love most! Not everyone can do that.
Zero athleticism? Put your energy into activities that give you joy, like volunteering.
Everyone has an advantage of some kind. You just have to find what that thing is and put it to work for you! Whenever the idea of unfair creeps into your mind, simply say “I don’t have that advantage, but I do have ___ and I’m really good at ___.”
4. If only ___ then I could ___.
Happiness starts right where you are. Many times this phrase is said about money.
“If only I made $80,000, then I could start my side business.”
“When I get more clients, I’ll be able to slow down.”
Money is a moving target. There is always something else to do or buy. By appreciating the parts of our lives that are free, we can move out of this mindset. What you have to work with are the things you have right now, at this moment. What matters is how you finish. Instead, say “Since I have ___ I can ___.”
BONUS – There is one more that I want to share with you. Consider writing it down and posting it somewhere or printing it out and putting it in a place where you can be reminded.
If you need support with a mindset shift, I’d encourage you to check out our Autumn Wellness Workshop. The topic is Journal Writing: A Journey of Self-Discovery & Self-Care. This workshop is free for Fit & Functional for Life community members. You can apply to join the community right now and enjoy a FREE trial to see if it’s a good fit your you.
Be well and have an awesome week!
P.S.: Do you enjoy getting clarity on your goals & dreams? Do these mindset shifts help you close the gap between knowing and doing? Apply to join us in the Fit & Functional For Life community! There’s a whole lot more, just like this, inside.
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