Mindset Mastery: Time to Shine

Hello friend,

How old were you when you first heard someone say, “who do you think you are?”

If you’re anything like me it was probably so long ago that you don’t remember exactly who said it but I’m sure you remember exactly how it made you feel.

When I think back, it all started in Mrs. Lynch’s fourth grade class at California Avenue Elementary School in Long Island, New York. Because I was fascinated with science, loved reading and got good grades, I was moved into an advanced class. That was when the teasing began. Two years later it only got worse.

My good grades followed me to junior high school where I was placed in yet another fast track advanced class. That was when the bullying began. The question “who do you think you are?” quickly turned into “who does she think she is?”

To maintain my already small circle of friends, I did what most of us do in order to not stand out too much in the crowd: I shrunk down.

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I hid my excitement about science and kept it all inside. I never mentioned a word about the solid A’s I earned across the board in French class, Biology class, History and Geography. I got good at pretending to not know the answers to math problems that my friends were struggling with on the bus ride to school.

Worse, I doubled up on my classes, skipped out on my senior prom and the senior high school field trip and graduated one whole year early, all to avoid the teasing and isolation that being ‘smart’ had caused in my life.

By the time I became an adult, ‘shrinking’ and playing small was so much a part of my thinking that I never questioned where I had heard that voice before. I put on the mask and labelled it ‘humility’ which most people consider a virtue.

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What I want you to remember this week is that there is nothing enlightening about shrinking and playing small so that others won’t feel insecure around you.

Playing small will not protect you from the fear and self-judgement that others around you are warring with inside.

Judgement is what turns our talents into torture, constantly telling us that we don’t belong or don’t deserve.

My friend, it isn’t who you are that’s holding you back, it’s who you’ve been telling yourself you are not.

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Open heart, open mind – no more masks! Retreat to Bacalar, Mexico September 2023

For Your Journal Practice:

It took years for me to realize that the judgmental voice that had been living in my head since childhood was not my own. I learned how to stop wearing the mask of humility and start designing the life I deserved to live.

This excitement, of course, led me to put extra energy into leading retreats and coaching others to do the same.

Here are a few journal prompts for you to work with this week:

1. Recall the Moment: Reflect on a specific time when someone questioned your worth or abilities by saying, “Who do you think you are?” Describe the situation in detail. How did you feel in that moment, and how did it impact your self-perception?
2. Identify the Consequences: How has that moment of self-doubt influenced your decisions and actions over the years? List specific instances where you held back or second-guessed yourself because of that initial experience.
3. Rewrite the Narrative: Imagine you could go back and respond to that question with confidence and self-assurance. What would you say to that person now? How would reclaiming your power in that moment have changed your path?

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Want to Go Deeper?

If you are struggling with self-criticism, feeling like you’re not where you wanted to be in your life and yearning to overcome the negative self-talk that’s been holding you back, here’s how the solitude of my annual retreat will help:

1. Clear Goals. Time away from the chaos and noise of everyday life will quiet the negative, judgmental chatter in your mind so that you can learn how to set clear, achievable goals and outline the steps needed to reach them.
2. Affirm Your Worth. Having the time, space and support to write a new story about yourself and your achievements will bolster your confidence and strengthens your belief in who you really are.
3. Surround Yourself with Positivity. The people you spend time with greatly influence your mindset. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and support you, and who believe in your potential. Their positive energy will reinforce your own self-belief.

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Remember, you are worthy and deserving of every success you desire. You have the power to shape your narrative and to live a life that is true to who you are and what you deserve.

So, who do you think you are? You are powerful, you are capable, and you are enough. Embrace it, believe it, and live it. Let your light shine brightly.

Be well. Be love(d). Be good to yourself,